Darwin's theory of evolution is nothing new, but did you know that sports select individuals in a similar manner to environments?

Coke needs Pepsi, flat out. Beverage drinkers can not have a preference unless their is competition, or choices to make. Coke lovers are incapable of loving Coke unless there is Pepsi for them to dislike.

Have you ever been to the South? Right. I'm sure you may have traveled below the Mason Dixon line for a vacation, to see some relatives, or for whatever reason. Maybe I should reword the question, Have you ever lived in the South? Living in the Union my entire life until recently, I can safely attest that the South is a ridiculous place. Let's take a look at the evidence.


Nascar-favorite sport of Southern folk


Nascar was born out of the Prohibition by moonshiners. Moonshiners-people who illegally distill alcohol, carry a banjo (on the knee), keep a shotgun leaning against the porch, and founded Nascar. Moonshiners would drive their liquor from the distillery to where it was sold. Cops catching on, would chase moonshiners, creating a race between cop and moonshiner. Before long, moonshiners were modifying their cars so they could outrun the cops and deliver their precious elixirs to the speakeasies of the day. One day Bob the moonshiner challenged George the moonshiner to a race in their modified cars. Eventually, moonshiners would outrun cops during the week, and race each other on the weekend. This is the sport worshiped in the South, maybe they are just glad they got their whiskey.




Fashion
In the South it is cool to wear crokies. You know how old people wear their glasses around their neck, so they don't lose them? Well in the South, its cool to wear your sunglasses on these things called crokies, which fulfill the same purpose.

Wow I stayed up way too late last night. Every TV channel was a freakin' infomercial, SCORE! What I got out of the night of infomercialing was that every product is awesome, and you need it, or else. I mean, without these infomercials showing their ridiculously long, redundant, totally kick ass ads the world would be without the best products that take up space in your closet. Chia pets?! Yeah, they kick ass. Flowbee? That's right it's a vacuum, for your hair. Everyone knows the life alert commercials too. Awesome acting granny. "Help I've fallen...and I can't get up!" Where's her Oscar? Don't forget about the kick ass As Seen on TV stores that you walk past in the mall. Deep down everyone knows they want to go in. Don't deny it.

Also, these freakin' infomercials always have the coolest new technologies. This ab crunch bullshit thing works your obliques with secret [insert shitty/bad ass sounding] technology! Damn, why didn't I think of [insert shitty/bad ass sounding] technology first. That's because infomercials are the shit, and you aren't, or else you'd be on an infomercial.

Just check out Tony Little. He has his own fucking bobble head doll. Bad ass.

Look at that bad ass haircut. What I would do to be like him...he always says yeah man! You can do it! What a motivated man. Check out his ymtnd why didn't i think of this first?! Expect Tony to have a big year...hit singles, motion picture films, guest appearances, and you can't forget more awesome infomercials.

Where would this world be without infomercials? I can assure you that it would be a dark gloomy miserable place...with no chia pets...or Tony Little. That would blow chunks. God bless infomercials may they have a long life ahead of them.

Do you know you're ruining the game for everyone? Do you feel any remorse for the hardships you place in your former opponents way? You ruin the game.

Not only is it impossible to evenly distribute your assets, you ruin the FLOW of the game, yes i said it, the FLOW of the game. Normal rotation is essential in the game of monopoly. Player A -> Player B -> Player C -> Player D ect... Monopoly is designed to be a fun family experience. In my household it normally ends with a temper tantrum from someone who just landed on my hotel on boardwalk. Yes, I am a beast at monopoly. I understand that sometimes in can be frustrating to play against me, but the only way to get better is to keep playing. Next time, don't quit, please?

Quitters suck.

Girls of all ages love terrible television series. Gossip Girls, Laguna Beach, The Hills, The Real World, Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City, the list goes on and on ... and on.

First of all, I'm sitting in a girl dominated class at school, and all they would talk about is Gossip Girl. They would get so extremely excited, it was ridiculous. All one of the minority guys in the class would do is...

Guy: (insert last heard name in conversation here) is such a BITCH!!!

Girl: I know!!!!!! You watch Gossip Girl!?!?!?!?!?!?

Guy: No, just a lucky guess.

Girl: Oh, I thought you did, she is such a bitch.

These shows are complete trash. Why do girls love to watch rich, pampered, rediculously hot, and slutty girls be bitches to each other. It is mind boggling. Next time you are on the crapper, ask yourself, why do girls like this trash. You will fail to come to an answer.

Theories:

1. All girls want to be rich, slutty, bitches.
2. This is actually good television. JUST KIDDING
3. Sexist males make these shows to lower female IQ's


Take your pick

To: Ford, GM, Chrysler
From: America

In times of great economic hardships, lets give billions of dollars away. What you say? We are only "loaning" money away. False. Wrong.

The US government is making a great investment. The best way to fully understand their thinking is to travel back in time a few years. With gas prices rising at an expedited rate, these companies made trucks, SUVS, and shitty cars. Meanwhile, the foreign auto makers, made legitimate cars. Lets compare the Ford Taurus with the Volkswagen Jetta. First criteria, looks. The Taurus looks like shit. The Jetta isn't too sporty, but sporty enough. Second criteria, performance. Jetta has performance options ie standard transmission, turbocharge, and better gas mileage to go with it. With the Taurus you get mediocre mileage with terrible performance. In Price, the Taurus definitely costs less, but has lower resale value. But really, if someone is looking for a cheaper ride, they may look to better used cars, or buy from KIA or some other auto maker that makes cars with similar performance for cheaper.

Basicly, to make money, a company must focus on cost advantage or performance advantage. The US auto industry has failed at both of these. They failed already, whose to say that they won't fail again. The only difference now is that they are farther behind then before. The US which is suppose to be very free market, is going against all sane economic theories. Think about it.
Here is a simple quiz to make my point.

Quiz:Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, Acura, Ford, Chrysler.
Hint: Two don't belong.
Answer: No bail out with tax payer money. If they need a loan, they can go through private investors. They should have no problem getting investors if their numbers are agreeable. If private investors won't loan them money, do you think we should?

AHHHH NO