Wow I stayed up way too late last night. Every TV channel was a freakin' infomercial, SCORE! What I got out of the night of infomercialing was that every product is awesome, and you need it, or else. I mean, without these infomercials showing their ridiculously long, redundant, totally kick ass ads the world would be without the best products that take up space in your closet. Chia pets?! Yeah, they kick ass. Flowbee? That's right it's a vacuum, for your hair. Everyone knows the life alert commercials too. Awesome acting granny. "Help I've fallen...and I can't get up!" Where's her Oscar? Don't forget about the kick ass As Seen on TV stores that you walk past in the mall. Deep down everyone knows they want to go in. Don't deny it.

Also, these freakin' infomercials always have the coolest new technologies. This ab crunch bullshit thing works your obliques with secret [insert shitty/bad ass sounding] technology! Damn, why didn't I think of [insert shitty/bad ass sounding] technology first. That's because infomercials are the shit, and you aren't, or else you'd be on an infomercial.

Just check out Tony Little. He has his own fucking bobble head doll. Bad ass.

Look at that bad ass haircut. What I would do to be like him...he always says yeah man! You can do it! What a motivated man. Check out his ymtnd why didn't i think of this first?! Expect Tony to have a big year...hit singles, motion picture films, guest appearances, and you can't forget more awesome infomercials.

Where would this world be without infomercials? I can assure you that it would be a dark gloomy miserable place...with no chia pets...or Tony Little. That would blow chunks. God bless infomercials may they have a long life ahead of them.